Livin' Light

Last weekend Mom and I got a day together, just the two of us. It started out cool, dark and misty.
We hopped into the van and drove...this is what we saw on the way to our destination.
Is it strange to anyone else that there would be a Jelly Belly truck in the middle of NE? It wasn't even near a large town...outside of Callaway actually:S Crazy. We drove to Cozad for an all day, free ladies conference.
Margaret Ashmore was the speaker. We went when she spoke two years ago, amazing teacher of God's word. I gleaned a lot and I'm still processing all that I gleaned.
What sticks with me the most is talking about anger, depression, simple unrest in myself. It all boils down to some "right" I feel has been taken from me or unfulfilled. Things like the right to:
An easy life.
A stress free job.
Marriage and children.
Watching whatever I want.
Use my money for myself.
I don't have any of those "rights." The Bible tells me that as a sinner the only right I have is eternity in hell, eternity separated from God. Why do I hang on to the rest and think I deserve it? What a gracious God we have, He sent His Son to earth to take my punishment for sin and give me a way out of that condemnation to hell. It is only made possible by his grace...not my right.
The hardest one for me is thinking that I deserve or that I have a right to be married. I catch myself thinking it isn't fair that others get it and don't have to wait as I have. I think that I'm being punished for something, that if only something I do changes...I'll get my right fulfilled. Foolish, foolish am I.
I'm striving now...to give Him my "rights." Perhaps I won't ever get married. God is good all the time and everything He does is RIGHT. I'm relinquishing my rights.
Alissa

Comments

  1. kayder19967:26 AM

    Ahh, therein is the hardest part. When we give to God what we want the most, we are placing our wants and desires in their rightful place, de elevating them from a position of Godhood in our lives and restoring the King in His rightful position. God wants us to come to a place where we will love Him and serve Him even if our deepest wants and desires go unmet. It's the Isaac moments in our lives that solidify our faith, that heavy task of putting our hopes and dreams on God's alter and saying "Whatever You choose to do with this is okay by me."

    Rest assured though the desires of our hearts were put there by God. They are a part of our being and indicative of how God wants to use us. Often those desires mesh with our personalities and giftedness and are just a natural extension of who God created us to be. So while you may lay down your hopes and dreams, know also that God put them in your heart for a reason. In fact, God wants you to get where He wants you to go more than you to get there! (From M. Batterson's In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day)

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