Friday, April 01, 2011


I'm sharing this song by JJ Heller. It was written about a girl who was physically hurting herself as means of control. The words have hit me hard and really do pertain, even though my control is mental and the scars aren't physical.

I find myself holding tightly to "control." I'm 27 and I desire to be married and have children. I've desired it for as long as I can remember. It plagues me so often, in nearly every thought of some days. I hate that a good thing becomes so strong against my mental well being. Letting go is a constant battle. I release the need for control only to have it creep back into my thinking. Thoughts are hard to reign in. Only with the Lord's help. His scars are what allows me to lay my need for control at His feet.

I spent 4 days away from home (and in the sun of Arizona) with a dear friend. It was amazing what being away did for me. The pressure was lifted and I was able to feel relief. Thank you, Lord! His timing is so powerful and perfect.

"God is strong and can help you not to fall. He can bring you before his glory without any wrong in you and can give you great joy. He is the only God, the One who saves us. To him be glory, greatness, power, and authority through Jesus Christ our Lord for all time past, now, and forever. Amen." --Jude 24-25

"Trust the LORD with all your heart, and don't depend on your own understanding. Remember the LORD in all you do, and he will give you success. Don't depend on your own wisdom. Respect the LORD and refuse to do wrong." --Proverbs 3:5-7

"We fight with weapons that are different from those the world uses. Our weapons have power from God that can destroy the enemy's strong places. We destroy people's arguments and every proud thing that raises itself against the knowledge of God. We capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ. We are ready to punish anyone there who does not obey, but first we want you to obey fully." --2 Corinthians 10:4-6


1 comment:

  1. Anonymous8:06 AM

    Since my need for control is fear-based, one thing that I've found very helpful lately is to turn and FACE that fear (vs. trying to always shove it down or run from it or hand it back over to God again and again, etc.). When I do that, and grieve, I've been relieved.

    FWIW, dear Alissa! You are not alone! :-)